When I went to primary school I always felt that I was middle to bottom of the range. I definitely wasn’t popular, and being a chubby child I was always the brunt of the jokes or teasing.
I seemed to spend my time following the in-crowd around trying to look like I was in, trying to be pleasing to them so that maybe they would notice me.
It didn’t change once I went to high school, it only became harder to be me amongst a crowd of teenagers who only thought of themselves and their status at the school.
I wasn’t good at sport, I wasn’t good at academics, the only subjects I was good at were Business Studies, and that’s the vocation I eventually headed into.
Even when I went to TAFE (Adult Further Education) I still didn’t fit in, it seems I have spent most of my life trying to find a crack into the in-crowd.
Now that I am married – and I have a great marriage – and I fit with my husband extremely well, I still have groups that I just don’t fit in.
We have a school connected to our church but I don’t fit in with the schooling mums because we don’t send our children to school. I don’t fit in with the young mums (even though I have young children) because I am a grandmother as well – I’m a bit too old for them.
But does it really matter if we fit in with the in-crowds of this world. Sometimes it seems to matter too much, but really there is only one crowd we should want to be in.
Romans 12:2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
John 17:14-16 I have given them your word, and the world has hated them because they are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. I do not ask that you take them out of the world, but that you keep them from the evil one. They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world.
Now please don’t get me wrong, I am not after sympathy and I don’t spend my days wallowing because I don’t fit in, I am just so pleased that I now know that I don’t actually NEED to fit it.
It has taken me years to realise that being “IN” doesn’t matter. The only one I should care about is Jesus and I want to run with His crowd.
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Oh so true! I am the same, but I don’t mind being the square peg. My kids get sick of me saying, ‘You have to be different to make a difference.’ Embrace the differences, I say, because often the crowd that you have to change yourself to fit into, isn’t worth fitting into in the first place. (That’s a bit of a long convoluted sentence!) You are certainly blessed to have a hubby who you ‘fit’ with so well.
Thanks Jayne, I agree it is so true that the crowds we try so hard to be a part of aren’t worth all the effort, and this is such an important thing for our children to understand. I am truly blessed to have a great husband, thank you for saying so and it has been a long journey for us both. We both seem to be up late on the computer. Have a good restful sleep. Blessings
Yes, I am having trouble sleeping at the moment. But at least it means lots of knitting and blogging getting done!
I’m sorry about that and I will pray that it gets easier for you and that God will give you His peace.
Yes, Jesus is all we need. I’ve also learned, though, that relationships with the people God created are a very precious part of this life–and that I don’t need to be in the same life stage as those I befriend. Many of my friends are single, while I’ve been married for years. My married friends are all about a decade older than I am–that sort of thing, not being in the same stage of life, doesn’t have to matter when it comes to friendships!
Thanks Rachel for your comment and yes you are right. I do have friends at various different stages in life to myself and our Christian friends are important. I am glad you stopped over. Blessings
You’ve shared some good thoughts. We often put emphasis on things that don’t really make us happy. Having graduated high school over 40 years ago, it has become increasingly clear to me that those in the “in crowd” didn’t necessarily have better lives, better marriages, or more contentment than the rest of us. In fact, sometimes their status lead them to more discontent.
Fortunately, we’re in Jesus’ “in crowd.” : )
Thanks Gail, I think this is true also, popularity doesn’t bring contentment, only a relationship with Jesus can bring true peace and happiness. Thanks for stopping by. Blessings
Yes I never fitted in at school so I can definitely identify! Finding our identity in Christ is so key, but we often have to take thoughts captive to get there and stay there, to remember that if He loves us it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks!
You are so right Rhoda, there are always so many opinions that people have about us that make us believe we are unworthy, and probably our own minds are our worst enemy. I am so glad you stopped by and commented, I feel so blessed. Have a great day. Blessings
I have had my fair share of trying to fit in and please the right people, too. I’ve also just recently started on a journey that has helped me uncover that I cannot be both authentic and a people pleaser. Many times there is a direct conflict of interest! So, I press in more to Jesus, who helps me be comfortable with myself and who He created me to be.
You are so right Jen, only Jesus can help us be who we should be. Thanks for your comment. Blessings
You’re right, it doesn’t really matter if we are popular or if we are running with the “in crowd.” What we should really be after is seeking peace with all of our peers. We don’t have to be best friends with everybody, but we do need to be at peace with them, be friendly, and loving towards them. Our main goal should be to please the Lord, and often times when we truly strive to do that, it cuts out a lot of friendships because so many seek after worldly lusts.
Thanks Chelsea for that very thoughtful and true comment, blessings
If it makes you feel any better, I’ve never really fit in with any crowds either (and I was thin and smart). I do much better one-on-one, and that’s okay!
Thanks for that Brittany, that does make me feel better, so its just not us fat kids that don’t fit. Thank you for taking the time to encourage me. Blessings
We don’t NEED to fit in.
Such a hard life lesson, but so wonderful to embrace. When we really grasp that the Lord is all we need, it frees us to be who He created us to be. We simply cannot fit in with everyone. Quite honestly, we don’t even to fit in with anyone at all. I love that He loves us and sends people here and there that are good fits:).
Thanks Bekki and you are so right we don’t NEED to fit in at all. Blessings