I can’t explain the feeling that I got when I first found out that I was going to be a Grandma.

It was pure joy!!!   But underneath the joy it didn’t feel quite real either.  Who would have thought that I’d be a Grandma at age 45.

We have been truly blessed to be Grandparents at such a young age. We get lots of comments about being too young (which is quite nice I must admit – especially on those days when you feel a bit old and tired).

There was also some feelings of regret.  Why, you ask????

I suppose they are just irrational feelings that come at the end of a stage in your life.

We had No 1 daughter eleven months after we were married and awaited with anticipation for No 2 child to come along.  But we waited and waited and after 5 1/2 years he appeared.  His birth was not what I would call a pleasant experience and it truly put me off.  It wasn’t his fault, just a culmination of stuff that happened.

Life continued on and we moved house and changed jobs and sent the children to school and then decided that we would homeschool.

Those same magazines and articles that encouraged us to homeschool were also talking about children being a blessing and a joy.  The truth hit us as we allowed God to take over the control of our reproduction.

It took 3 years for me to conceive No 2 daughter.  Whilst watching our other friends have baby after baby I sat there asking God why, when we were doing His will, why wasn’t He fulfilling our desires.  I understand His ways to be  perfect and we just needed to wait (although it wasn’t easy).

No 2 daughter arrived almost 10 years after No 2 son.  She was beautiful.  We then suffered a miscarriage 16 months later, there had been some issues right from the start of that pregnancy but we were believing God to heal.  Once again His ways are perfect and His plan is perfect (and once again it wasn’t easy).

No 2 son arrived 2 1/2 years later and once again he was beautiful.

It amazed me that when I was young I didn’t conceive and needed some help with fertility medication and here I was at age 40 starting to be fruitful.

Another 14 months after No 2 son was born I was pregnant again, wow this was great.  We were so excited that it was so easy to handle the “oh not another one” comments from family and friends. But sadly this child was meant only for Heaven and she passed away at 26 weeks gestation.  This was true pain.  Lord we are doing your will, what is going on.

Her birth and our hospital experience was wonderful.  I have never had such an experience, the staff and doctors were really amazing and because we had been to the same hospital two times before there was a comaraderie that I didn’t experience the first 2 times.  God really blessed us through this experience and once again His ways are perfect.

Since then we haven’t conceived again and I suppose we wait to see if it will happen again.  I am scared somewhat to become pregnant but God is in control.

So to see our daughter having babies is such a blessing.  To be able to hold their little bodies and get to know them is a joy.

When our oldest granddaughter saw me last time she raised her arms and trotted over with a big smile on her face.  That was just the best feeling (and makes me teary now just writing about it).  It doesn’t matter to me that she probably does that to all the people at church – she did it to me and I know that even at her young age she knows me to be her Grandma.

Life is surely complete.

This post is linked up here….