We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to accomplish that beauty…
The other day we met No 1 daughter and her children at a town half way between their house and ours (about an hour driving each).
It was a wonderful day and we finished off our picnic lunch by having a cuppa at the local cafe and found this delightful and thought provoking picture on the wall.
This brings to mind our children and our relationships with them. I now marvel at the beauty of the relationship we have with our older two children, but these relationships have gone through some immense changes to get to where they are.
When our children are young its a relationship of parent and child. We love, instruct, discipline and encourage, with tighter reigns on what the child is allowed to do. It is not really a relationship of friends.
As they grow from toddlers to early teens it again changes. It is still the parent/child relationship with instruction, disciplining and encouragement but it is somewhat evolving.
As with our children we start to encourage them to be adults, to be husbands and wives. We lead them into home based business ideas and allow them time to develop them.
My husband took our No 1 son to TAFE once a week, where he could learn welding and machining and all that stuff in a controlled environment amongst other adults. He was one of a few homeschooled children that have done adult trade education before he was 15.
Our daughter was already sewing for others by the time she was fifteen. She also worked one day a week in our local fabric shop (owned by a close Christian friend) and what she learnt there I couldn’t have taught her.
When they were young adults the relationship was still of parent/child but we developed a great friendship. A friendship that still has boundaries of discipline but once again even that discipline is evolving.
My daughter and I are born talkers. We both need to talk out the things on our minds. We can chat for hours and still find things to say to each other.
No 1 son isn’t quite as talkative but when the time is right he shares his ideas and future plans and once again their is friendship.
Now they are adults, No 1 daughter is married and living the life we all prayed for. Our relationship is still of parent/child but it doesn’t involve discipline. It is truly a love, teach and encouragement relationship, and now it goes both ways. I am sure she loves me as much as I love her and she teaches and encourages me everyday. We can still talk on the phone for hours on topics from what we are cooking for tea through to deep spiritual issues. She is quite wonderful and we are blessed by this relationship, both myself and my husband.
Our No 1 son is now 19 and is quite the young man. Our relationship is definitely one of Mother and Son but we are great friends as well. Now comes the time when we must trust in God for his safety and well being. His father and I encourage him in the right choices but also step back and allow him to make his choice. I tell you what – this can be hard. We have to trust that his training and relationship with God will lead him in the right direction.
Both children know that we are always there for them whenever they need us.
So you can see that our relationships have now gone through many changes, both for them and us as parents but these relationships are beautiful and we delight in them.
This post is linked here…
and here…
and here…