HOW DO YOU REACT…

How do you react when someone tells you they are having another baby.

Do you react with excitement or with “Oh dear not another one”, or “you’ll be busy” or “are you trying for a boy/girl”.

After our first two children were born I was guilty of these statements. I truly believed that two children were enough. I am so thankful that God changed our hearts and blessed us with more children, we would have missed out on so much.

Our son-in-law and daughter are having their third child in September, this will be 3 in under 2 1/2 years. We are so excited and can’t wait for the new arrival.

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Our oldest granddaughter
When I tell people that we are going to be grandparents again I get asked how old the other children are and then when they hear they are two and under the next comment is “oh your daughter will be busy”.

Well of course she’ll be busy and have her hands full but they will be full of blessings.  Just because there will be heaps of work to do doesn’t mean that the blessings stop.

After discussion with my daughter on this issue I wonder why people are so negative. They don’t have to be kept up at nights or have to wash any nappies (diapers). It won’t cost them anything and no one is asking them for anything or have any expectations on them.

Come on lets get some excitement here.  Another child raised in a Godly home can only be an incredible blessing to our Lord and to those around us.

Yes raising children can be hard work but it is the best hard work that we will do.

Psalm 127:3-5  Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward.  Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one’s youth.  Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; They shall not be ashamed, But shall speak with their enemies in the gate.

We didn’t get a quiver full but our home is full of joy, noise, mess, washing, ironing, cooking and cleaning, but also children with a heart for God and a heart to learn and help.

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Our oldest daughter with her youngest

55 thoughts on “HOW DO YOU REACT…”

  1. What a wonderful post. As the mother of only one daughter I would have loved to have had many more blessings. I’ve always felt like there are so many things much more important than wealth, fame, importance. Children are truly a blessing from the Lord. Congratulation on becoming a grandma – Again !!!!

  2. We get told a lot we “must have our hands full” and I just laugh, “Yes we do!” I actually didn’t realize there was anything negative with that being said–and I have said it to other mothers but always with joy.
    Being told my entire life I wouldn’t have children and then not starting until barely before 30, I would love to have my hands even fuller if the Lord wishes.
    I’m super excited for your entire family! Congratulations!
    Blessings,

    1. I suppose the “hands full” statement can be said either way and with joy the statement would be one of understanding and blessings. Unfortunately it isn’t said that way too often, probably only from other mums of many. I am so pleased for you that God gave you and your husband children, and being told that you never would must be a double God blessing and I pray that he increases the size of your family. Blessings

  3. Yes! I say congratulations and leave it at that. I have a friend who is about to have her sixth kid. I think six kids is a lot and more than I would want, but it’s what she wants and she’s an awesome mother and will have no more problems with six than she did with two. I can be happy for her without having to chime in with something negative. That would be more of a reflection on me than her situation.

  4. Congratulations on another grandbaby! As a mother of eight I’ve heard all the negative comments to the point where I hate to tell anyone just how many I have.
    What mother isn’t busy? Your daughter will have a good, productive, joyful busy. And you’ll have someone else to add to all the “joy, noise, mess, washing, ironing, cooking and cleaning, but also children with a heart for God and a heart to learn and help.” So happy for your family.

    1. Thank you so much Jennifer for your comment and understanding. I am sorry that you get those comments too. Let’s look upon all children as a blessing and share our heart attitude with others. Have a great week. Blessings

    2. Thank you Jennifer for your comment and understanding. I am sorry that you have to receive those remarks and let us look at all children as a blessing and share our heart attitude. Blessings and have a great week.

    3. I know just what you mean, Jennifer! When we had #5 and #6 (twins) , we were shunned by our own family members who said some pretty awful things to our faces. Now, we are pregnant with #7 and we can’t even share the good news with them because we are well aware of what their reactions will be. Each new addition has grown our faith in many ways. Our family is happy and we enjoy the extra work/noise. It’s worth it to us!

      1. What a wonderful family you must have Carrie and what a blessing to each other. Sometimes it is so difficult when family members aren’t encouraging but we have to push though that and continue on the path God has for us. I remember my mum being very discouraging when I was pregnant with our third baby (with a gap of 10 years) but once she grew, my mum loved her anyway. It’s a pity that people don’t remember that. Blessings to you and thank you so much for stopping by.

  5. Congratulations on your new grandbaby! I truly believe all kids are a blessing even when the circumstances are tough. I know a lot of people think I’m a bit crazy for fostering after having our 3 boys, but it has been such a blessing to have everybody. We have 4 right now and I absolutely love it; I saw a sign once that I think I need because it said, “If you think my hands are full, you should see my heart!” Thanks for sharing!
    -Sara, uncommongrace.net

    1. Hey Sara, thanks for the comment and for being so encouraging and sharing your heart. You are fantastic to foster and I definitely don’t think you are crazy, blessings will be flowing both ways. I also love that sign and might have to make one up to give to my daughter and one for myself. Have a great week and may you all be blessed.

  6. Congratulations on being a grandmother again! What a blessing is TRUE! 🙂 I just think of my grandmother on her last days in bed, surrounded by children and grandchildren (all because she said yes to God’s blessings!). She was so loved and taken care of in her old age. Children are a blessing! Thank you for sharing this week on the Art of Home-Making Mondays!

    1. Thanks Jes for stopping by and commenting and I just love the story of your grandmother and I hope I can be like her one day. What a wonderful way to pass into paradise with our children and our children’s children all around us. What a blessing. Thanks for that and have a great week. xxxx

  7. I remember being on the opposite side of that feeling…surprisingly I only had one child and when I was expecting my second I received comments from family members because they thought we were being irresponsible since we were living on a tight budget. I was heart broken at a time when I should have been rejoicing.

    I will always be happy for an expectant mother no matter how many she may have because the pain that is caused by a negative reaction can be devastating.

    Children are messy, loud and time consuming but most of all they are a blessing. Thanks for sharing.

  8. I got a lot of those comments, and still do! By the time I had my youngest we had a 3 year old, a 19 month old and a newborn. It was crazy and hectic, but it was also full of blessings. I wish people were more supportive. Even now that they are older and obviously close in age, people still make comments about how we must have our hands full etc. So I make it a point to never say those things to another mother, I try to point out the good and give her a smile!

  9. I hate that children are viewed as burdens. Obviously 3 under 3 means that “she’ll have her hands full”, but it also means her home and heart will be full of that much more love and happiness!
    My 2 are 14.5 months apart and since they’re a boy and a girl, everyone assumes I am done. I certainly am not done! 🙂

  10. It’s always been a pet peeve of mine, that rude attitude people have about the blessing of a child. I don’t understand why some people react so negatively to wonderful news. I’ve had friends tell me first because they needed someone to be happy for them before facing all the rude people.
    When I was pregnant someone told me, “I’m glad it’s you and not me.” I looked her straight in the eye and said, “So am I.”

  11. Congratulations! I totally agree of course she will be busy that is just part of being a parent, but the joy a baby brings is fantastic. With those little ones close in age they will be the best of friends, what a precious time and I am so happy for you and your family 🙂 Visiting from #fellowshipFriday

  12. The worst thing is when people feel like they have to say something… that’s when the pointless, cliche comments fly. I’m pregnant with my third and my oldest is 3. I guess the difference is a lot of people don’t view child-rearing as a beautiful (yes, often messy) blessing. Perhaps it’s a good thing that having precious lives to shape and mold is not their forte!

    1. Thank you Alli for your comment. Maybe that’s it, maybe we shouldn’t feel we need to say anything. I say to the children if you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything, maybe this is a thought us adults should have as well. Congratulations on expecting another baby, that is wonderful news, hope it all goes well. Blessings

  13. The negative comments started for us when baby #3 was on the way. We already had a boy and a girl, so most people couldn’t figure why we wanted more, and from then on (we have 5 now) the most popular question was – don’t you know what’s causing that?! But the funny thing is that now, everywhere we go, people are so excited to see a “large” family with children. I’ll bet pretty soon, (most) people will see what a blessing your daughter’s family is, too!
    Be encouraged! 😉

  14. Children are overwhelming at times. Children are loud at times. Children are unappreciative at times. Children are slobs at times. And yes, bratty, spoiled, and even rude. They are carrying around fallen, human nature just like the rest of us. They struggle too. We moms are tired, feel inadequate at times, wish hubs would help more at times, doubt ourselves, worry about our children, etc. There is so much to parenting. So much. It’s hard work and a very, very necessary and important job. Children are a gift from God, and we know this. Being a parent is not all joy and not all sorrow. Simply put: other people’s reaction to you being pregnant is exactly that-their reaction. They are broken, wounded, and have their story too. They are negative or anxious at your news of expectancy for a reason. Its OK that they are not celebrating what they have just heard. They have their reason, and without thinking, they are projecting their feelings/thoughts onto you. Your joy about a pregnancy is not dependent upon anyone else. So celebrate your expectancy and also offer a quiet and sincere prayer for the person negatively receiving your news. Compassion is in order here-at a time like that. Your negative reaction to them not being positive about your news is an equal situation. You are not understanding them (why they are negative) and they are not understanding why you are positive.

    1. Thank you anonymous mom for your comment, it is always good to hear other peoples thoughts on different topics. I agree that a persons pregnancy joy is not dependent upon anyone else but unfortunately words do hurt and sometimes they scar. You are also right in saying that we should say a sincere prayer for the negative people out there and their comments. Thanks again and blessings to you.

  15. It is interesting how people react to a pregnancy. May God bless your family as you keep the perspective that each grandchild is a blessing for they surely are! Stopping by from The Weekend Brew this morning 🙂

  16. Yes, I was guilty of saying “Oh NO,” when our daughter with 4 children announced that #5 was on the way. she was heart broken at my response, and told me that she though I of all people should be happy for her. I was thinking (I am not sure we can afford another baby.) I am glad those words did not come out. Words were smoothed over and life went on. I am a near neighbor at Sunday Stillness.

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