When I was born I was adopted into a Christian home with a Dad and Mum and a brother who was 2 years older.

I was a very relaxed type of baby, I slept a lot and ate a lot, I was placid. Growing up I was probably the same, I am definitely not a perfectionist by any means, but as I have gotten older I like some things done a particular way.

My older brother was very academic and very musical, and of course I wasn’t. School was a chore and although I did learn to play music I just wasn’t gifted with any special abilities regarding it. I read music and I played it, that was it.

I felt that I was always in the shadow of my brother, schooling wise, and life wise. He was tall and skinny and I was short and dumpy.  In meeting my birth mother many years later I have come to realise that my height and some of my weight issues are definitely a genetic trait.

I don’t think I ever felt that I met the mark and I felt I was always striving to please people and be better than what I was.

When we talk about the free gift of salvation that Jesus has given us I find it a hard thing to accept. Deep down I know it to be true, but the little girl in me who is always trying to be better just struggles to accept that she is good enough for any gift of that magnitude.


I am still trying to work out if I am “good” enough for that gift. I know that Jesus died for me and because of that and because I love Him and know that He is God’s son and because I have a relationship with him that I am going to heaven, but a little part of me thinks maybe not.

So when we are parenting our children, I think we need to be careful in how we raise them and how we speak to them. We need to be more verbal about how much Jesus loves them and how much He has done for them. They must be secure in His love and in our love.

Sometimes it is so easy to compare them to their siblings or other children and this is something we must be so careful about. I was told by a friend of my parents that I wasn’t as good as my brother at music because I just didn’t practice enough. Now I did practice, maybe not enough but I don’t think it would have mattered how much I practiced I would never be like him regarding music. I wasn’t given a gift of being able to play by ear, but God did bless me with many other gifts.

We must be careful how we verbalize to our children their failings and what they need to work on. Don’t make their issues a big thing in front of other people or other family members.

Don’t get me wrong, our children will still need discipline and correction, but this must be done without comparison but with love.

It is so easy to slip into “if you just did this you would be like so and so”. This just gives our children the idea they aren’t good enough.

There is nothing we can do to earn our Saviours love for us. There is no good works that we can do that gets us into Heaven. Our salvation is a big free gift wrapped up in the arms of our Lord.

Let’s not put provisos on this gift.

Romans 10:9 That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.

Ephesians 2:8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:


You will find me linked up at some of these great blogs.


  1. I totally agree with you, Darling. Because it took me so long to freely accept God’s grace, I’m even more purposeful about being sure I extend it to my son – that He knows that no matter what, God loves him, we love Him. Thanks for the encouragement to not put qualifiers on God’s unconditional love. Your neighbor at #testimonytuesday.

    1. Thank you so much Tiffany for your kind words and you are so right. Our children must understand how much God and their parents love them, no matter what. Blessings to you and yours.

  2. I enjoyed reading your thoughts! I agree with comparing children with others, I was raised the same way and never felt I ‘measured up’. I am also thankful we don’t have to be compared to others, such as Bible people (Paul and other early Christians) for salvation! Thanks for sharing at W2W Ministries.

  3. Thank you for sharing this. “We need to be more verbal.” I’ve been working on this lately – both in explaining why an interaction is frustrating and indicating a desire to work things out (with my older kids) AND in praising my kids for the things I see and admire in them. I hope at least some of my words of praise sink down deep into their hearts.

  4. So grateful for the free gift of salvation, because if it weren’t free, we’d all be left out b/c there is nothing we could do to earn a place with God! thanks for the reminder!

  5. It is really hard to accept a gift sometimes. Our daughter and son-in-law invited us to join them for dinner last Friday. We were excited to go because we always enjoy their company. We had a great meal and wonderful fellowship around the table. We shared many laughs. When it came time to pay – our son-in-law grabbed the check. We protested because we didn’t expect this. But my daughter piped up and said, “just say thanks, mom.” That’s what I taught her when she was growing up when she was presented with a gift. Now it was my turn to learn this lesson. All God wants for His precious gift is a thank you !!! And I do thank Him for loving me and welcoming me into His family. Visiting from Grace and Truth Link Up.

    1. Don’t you just love it Rebecca, when the things you teach your children come back at you. It is such an important lesson to learn to be thankful and appreciative of all gifts and especially the free gift of Salvation from our Saviour. Thanks for your kind and thoughtful comment. Blessings

  6. This is such a lovely and much-needed reminder. That gift is available for all of us. We need to share it with joy, enthusiasm, and with anyone who will listen.

    Thank you for sharing (and for linking up to the #SHINEbloghop).

    Wishing you a lovely day.

  7. Words are really powerful and our parents have a unique power over that especially. Like their words are the ultimate blessing (or curse) any child could receive.

    1. Thank you Lux for your comment and you are right as parents we can either use words that bless or curse. Praying that we only use words that bless. Have a great weekend.Blessings

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